So this girl gave me her number, but I didn't know how long I should wait to call her.
My friend said a week, but not sooner than five days. That way she knows you're a guy of importance. And he knows women, he's a playa, so I managed five days, and I called.
And she goes: "I gave you my number last weekend and you're only calling now? You're a playa, is that it?"

"No!" I said. "I'm really not!"
"I think you are," she said. "You're a playa. I'm sorry but I don't go out with playas. I'm looking for someone sincere."
"But I am sincere!" I said. "I'm not a ladies' man! I'm terrible with ladies! Ask any lady!" I don't know, I must have sounded desperate enough. Cos then she says....
"You're really not a playa?"
"I swear I'm not a playa. I don't even know the game, never mind how to play," I promised her.
"So you're not just trying to get into my pants, and then you're going to disappear?"
"I swear. I believe in taking it slow."
"You do?"
"Very slow. So slow. Like, holding-hands kind of slow. Give me a chance, I'll show you."

So I got the date. But now, to show I'm not a playa, I gotta go so slow, I don't even know what the point of the date is. I'm not winning here. Maybe I need to just stop getting advice from my buddies.

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